slateblog

Just four years after launching the Wii U, the system is effectively dead and Nintendo has shipped its last title for the platform. My Wii U collection now includes the free game I got with the system, a pair of Mario games and its swansong, the new Zelda game. The system was a gift given to me several years ago and beside the plumber’s usual excellent games, (already catalogued here) the only game I wanted was Zelda. It was scheduled for 2015.

Its delay was due to new hardware, there is simply no doubt. And that hardware has arrived. But I’m not spending $300 for a system to play Zelda when the last system was supposed to do so. But that’s OK. I have the option to play on my Wii U. So let’s.

But oh! my Wii U has decided to stop outputting audio. Now that’s not Nintendo’s direct fault. I mean, I didn’t really use the system that much, but hardware fails. I get it. But hey, I have this second screen. I could turn the volume up on the controller and maybe use it for a map or inventory screen. But oh no. Despite the second screen being about the only selling point on the console in its four miserable years, Nintendo opted not to utilize it at all for Zelda. Why? The Switch, surely. Can’t have the old system doing something the new system can’t, right? Screw you, fans! Buy the new hardware! And to answer the inevitable question, yes, I can play the game on the Wii U controller because that’s precisely why I bought a 55″ TV.

So, whatever, the Wii U is dead. Let’s look at the Switch. The future of gaming, certainly! Wait…did I hear that version of Zelda runs more smoothly when in handheld mode? You buy a new piece of hardware that only outputs the latest-and-greatest in 900P and it can’t do so smoothly? In the year 2017? Yup…so the best experience of Zelda is to play it on a handheld, 6.2″ screen running in 720P? What the fuck?

Now, the console itself is reasonably-priced. For a system that only outputs in 1080P and as a portable only has maybe 3-4 hours of battery life, $300 is the max price, really But the pricing on everything else is ludicrous. $70 for a pro controller? It was difficult to swallow when the 360 and PS3 introduced wireless controllers and they cost as much as a game…but $70? And what about another set of Joycon controllers? $80??? And what is this news of the controllers losing sync? So, if I want another set of controllers, my bill just went up nearly 1/3 of the price. And if I don’t want to hold them like miniature chopsticks, it’s another $30 for the grip? $110? Prices will come down, certainly, right?

Oh and as of this writing, save games are tied to the system, so you can’t back them up or transfer them? WAT? Only 32Gb of internal memory? Voice chat has to be done via an app on your phone? The list of WTF just grows inexplicably. No virtual store yet either. Wait, you can’t get new games or old games up and running properly for your launch? I love new HW, but I am not enthusiastic about this at all. It just feels like an awful lot of money for another system that’ll just have 5 games on the shelf. Barring some wonderful third-party exclusive, a thing Nintendo hasn’t hooked me on since Resident Evil 4 over a decade ago, give me one reason (whose name isn’t Mario) to get this system. Metroid? I’ll believe it when I see it.

Just a little disgusted on how they’ve handled the demise of the Wii U, the entirety of Zelda and the hardware of the Switch. I don’t doubt it’s some sexy-ass tech. But they screwed over Wii U owners and Zelda fans alike. Guess I’ll go play Breath Of The Wild on my 854 x 480 controller. Whatever.