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Is Varjoina Kuljemme Kuolleiden Maassa The Best Album In A Decade?

Posted in Best / Worst, Blog, Music, Reviews on January 16, 2013 by slateman

Moonsorrow-2011-333x500That’s not a dramatic header there. I’m serious. The more I listen; the better it gets. Moonsorrow’s masterpiece is a perfect album. OK, the three 90-second interludes are useless, but they bridge the awesomeness in a
necessary way. The four remaining 13-minute-average epics are possible the best four songs in years. The
complete tale from beginning to end is a vast journey, perfectly completing a cycle of metallic excellence.

It’s funny. Barring the hypnotic acoustic intro of Huuto, I can’t hum to you any one specific riff, memorable interlude or catchy progression. The songs go one for so long; what makes them so good?

Moonsorrow’s powerful blend of keyboards, sheer heaviness and crushing vocals lead from one tune to the next, not faltering, not offering a throwaway segment. As a musical fanatic, I memorize band member names, song titles, years, everything but lyrics. On Varjoina Kuljemme Kuolleiden Maassa I know none of it. Even as a linguist who revels in etymology, language change and meaning – I don’t care. I just want to turn this up and play it again.

This album is just about everything I love about metal. I almost have nothing to write about it – but yet it’s the greatest shit in the world. It very well could be the best album of this millennium.

Review: The Hobbit – An Unexpected Journey

Posted in Books, Movies, Reflection, Reviews, Tolkien, Video with tags on December 28, 2012 by slateman

poster-gandalfIn the 1990s I started reading Tolkien. In the 2000s, we were given the spectacular film conversions of The Lord Of The Rings. In the 2010s, we have another epic journey to embark upon.

I was so excited about this movie. In fact, no movie since Return Of The King had me so compelled to plunk down my cash and spend hours in a theater. Of course, in the ’90s I was young and now I’m riddled with responsibility. I think that’s what makes this more profound for me. Tolkien’s masterpieces follow us through our own epic journeys.

Perhaps this is all too dramatic, but as the New Line logo came and went, Howard Shore’s familiar tunes entered my ears and I returned to Middle Earth, it was so reassuring to see certain images on the screen precisely as I have seen them in my head for 15 years. It was all too amazing to see Erebor’s hoards of gold torn directly from the images my imagination conjured up.

While very few of the Dwarves really did the same for me, I loved their diversity (something hardly addressed in the book) and it was wonderful seeing Thorin change his opinion of Bilbo. Spanning three movies, I expected it to be slow. Martin Freeman’s portrayal of Bilbo was spot-on IMO, blundering yet innately brave, he was amazing. The scene with Gollum was another essentially identical to what I’d envisioned. I felt sadness for Smeagol, his pain and suffering. The meeting of Elrond, Gandalf, Galadriel and Saruman was total fiction, but for those of us who cared, it carried such weight. Thousands of years of knowledge, wisdom, power (and rings! All three elven rings, to be precise) all together in one meeting! And such a meeting in Rivendell for that matter! Again, it warmed my heart to return to this imaginary place. That may make no sense at all, but it was a remarkable feeling.

Dol Guldur, Radagast, Hobbiton, it was all great. I thought the Goblin King was too cheesy; I don’t understand the need to make him so goofy.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is no LotR. That’s quite fine by me. It is not without flaws but in so many ways it was exactly what I wanted…and needed. The Misty Mountains song was amazing and I’m posting Neil Finn’s version of Song of the Lonely Mountain below because it was so phenomenal.

I can’t wait to see it again…to see The Desolation Of Smaug in a year…to feel the sadness to leave Middle Earth like I did at the Grey Havens back in 2003. To say this is all more than just a movie, more than a book, more than just a passing interest would be to lie. And it’s all just begun. :D



Mini-Review: Looper – Fucking Awesome

Posted in Blog, Movies, Reviews on December 26, 2012 by slateman

LooperI imagine Bruce Willis can choose whichever movie he wants to do now. He’s established, likely rich, and…The Man (see the upcoming A Good Day To Die Hard). Joseph Gordon-Levitt on the other hand is a young, relatively un-established actor. That’s not to put him down, but he’s no Bruce Willis. In any event, when a script like this (or also in the case of Gordon-Levitt, Inception), how can someone not go for it? This movie was friggin’ incredible. I loved, loved, loved it. Any movie that leads me to the last 10 minutes with absolutely no clue how it might end = GOLD. Time-travel movies are just fodder for brain activity.

And when it comes to time-travel movies, this very well could be the best one ever. It wasn’t riddled with ‘what if’ situations, but it really made me think and in the end, I sat there, jaw agape (love when that I need to use that phrase). This movie rocked and may be the best movie I’ve seen all year (The Hobbit is still on the horizon.) I would list this up there with Inception as one of the coolest, yet most thought-provoking film in recent memory. A+++!

Merry Christmas!

Mini-Review: Borderlands 2 – Yes!

Posted in Blog, Borderlands, Games, Reviews, The Walking Dead on December 25, 2012 by slateman

Borderlands 2 review screenshot07A few weeks back I was chugging along in Borderlands 2 when I figured I’d call it quits for the night. My buddy, Mat wasn’t around to play online so I said, “What the hell,” and hopped online, something I hadn’t done in BL2 yet. Turns out, I joined a game that was precisely where I was and we blitzed through the remainder of the game in a four-player carnage-fest. It was insanity. It was awesome. Our connection was spectacular, the enemies and loot were superb and it was a hell of a lot of fun.

Now, in the grand scheme of things, BL2 had a better story, a few new tweaks and shiny new guns but it wasn’t that different from BL. This may affect the Game of the Year rankings – as The Walking Dead was nothing like anything I’d ever played before. However, BL2 was brilliantly executed and left me with a TON left to do. Two DLCs, two more to come, a second playthrough and a bunch of golden keys to use (L00t!)

I can’t say enough about this game, really. It has everything I wanted in a game and I’m still playing it (three months after its release). Definitely one of the year’s best and certainly one of the best of this generation IMO, trumping BL with certainty. Love it!!!

Mini-Reviews: Vintersorg – Jordpuls/Orkan

Posted in Best / Worst, Music, Reviews with tags on November 30, 2012 by slateman

The last time this happened to me was way back with Blind Guardian’s Imaginations From The Other Side. I’d put the record on and consider it a good album, nothing more. Then, a subsequent spin would leave me much more impressed. This would continue until I absolutely loved the record. The sad thing is; it would reset every time I stopped.

So, while I was a huge fan of Vintersorg’s first three releases, I lost interest when Cosmic Genesis came out. Now, I quite like it, but then I was disappointed. The next two albums were not really my thing and the following one was a step in the right direction. Next would be Jordpuls (Pulse of the Earth) and again, I liked the 2011 version of Vintersorg but I never found myself putting it on. Until now, that is.

Several months after Jordpuls’ successor came out, I went back to this album and have been loving it ever since. I can’t say it hearkens back to the excellence of Ödemarkens Son but it’s new, fresh and phenomenal. Bouncing between the folk influence to the wonderful raspy vocals, I loved hearing his trademark vocal style, catchy riffs and having that familiar Vintersorg sound.

A year after Jordpuls we were treated to Orkan (Hurricane). Again, this took a few months to warm up to, but now, almost half a year later, I cannot stop listening to it!!! It’s got everything Jordpuls did but with catchier riffs, more memorable melodies and choruses. The vocals are powerful, the mix is spectacular and it’s one of those records where when it ends, I want to put it back on again. I cannot find a single weak point on the record. It’s excellent through-and-through.

Now, I’d already talked about Borknagar’s Urd and with it being a bit of a weak year, that may have been my Album Of The Year until I started up with Orkan. If not, Vintersorg himself may be on two of my top albums of the year, something that has never happened before. Ultimately, I’m loving these two Vintersorg records, something my Last.fm profile can verify! I haven’t listened to this much of the band since 2001. And to think…there are two more records of this planned four-album concept to come!

The Walking Dead: The Game – OMG……

Posted in Best / Worst, Borderlands, Games, Metal Gear Solid, Reviews, The Walking Dead on November 28, 2012 by slateman

After grabbing the first two The Walking Dead: The Game entries via PS+, I was sold. I purchased the next three episodes immediately and Episode 5, the finale, was one of the most anticipated games of the year. So, the night before Thanksgiving, I sat down to play and…..and…..

As the credits rolled so did tears down my cheek. I was floored. I was in awe. The credits finished and the epilogue began, offering little solace for how things ended.

Spoilers, obviously…
After Lee passed out in the streets I still had hope. However, upon waking up and seeing Lee, I knew. His face pale, his eyes yellowing; Lee was going to die. Perhaps we all should have known but I figured cutting his arm off might do the trick. Nope. Here, in that room with Clem, it hit me. Lee was going to die. At that moment, I lost it. I got through the rest of the episode but I didn’t cope with it well. Lee prepared Clementine for the inevitable. I just wanted to hug her. I just wanted to tell her, “I love you, Clem.” As the options came and went, I never got to say it. Lee slumped over with Clem crying, ME crying! It was outrageous.

I’ve played some awesome games and some of those had incredible stories. However, ultimately I don’t know of any game that affected me the way this did. Mouth agape, I was in shock. I hurt. I felt horrible…but there was closure. The Walking Dead was so well-written, I forgot it was a game, I forgot it was fiction. Ben had died, Kenny was likely gone, everyone was gone. Lee had come so far. In thinking about the first four episodes, we’d been through so much. And now it was over. It was over and Lee was dead.

I Love Borderlands 2 and some other games, but it’s very possible TWD will win Game Of The Year. It was the most incredible gaming journey I’ve ever embarked upon. Perhaps Metal Gear Solid 4 could come close. Nah…while MGS4 was phenomenal, TWD was the most powerful game I’ve ever played.

Mini-Review: The Expendables 2 – ROAR!!!

Posted in Best / Worst, Blog, Movies, Reviews on November 3, 2012 by slateman


It’s all about the expectations. I thought Independence Day would be awesome (I was only 18 at the time). It was not. I had low expectations for Aliens Vs. Predator – therefore I was not disappointed. Here, we have the second Expendables film and it was precisely what it needed to be. I cannot see how anyone could rate this poorly. It was what it was, and nothing more.

The intro and outro sequences were great. Arnold, Willis and Stallone fighting side-by-side? KICK ASS! Sly’s punches vs. Van Damme’s kicks? Rock and Roll! One-liner trade-offs? FUCK YEAH!

Jet Li punches someone in the face and I see meat. MEAT!

There were 400 casualties in the first 90 seconds of the film. This is a modern-day Hot Shots: Part Deux!

(Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar)

The Expendables 2 was an over-the-top, absurd, high-testosterone film and I wouldn’t change a thing about it. Even when I thought there should be more Arnold, I realized how awesome it made the final sequence. Maybe more explosions would have worked. I think there were more in the first one! I loved this movie. Thumbs up!

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Mini-Review: Dan Swanö: Moontower

Posted in Best / Worst, Blog, Music, Reviews on September 3, 2012 by slateman

I remember working at the radio station in college and being in love with the Swedish family tree of bands. Åkerfeldt sang for Katatonia on the brilliant and grim Sounds of Decay. Blackheim of Katatonia had his solo project Diabolical Masquerade and Dan Swanö played drums with him. I guess that was enough to purchase Moontower in 1998.

12 years later, however, I still play it regularly, more than any of those Swedish bands, really. (Though, I do write this while wearing my favorite Opeth shirt) This album is the bomb and I have nothing else in my collection that is quite like it.

Speaking of Opeth, their latest album, Heritage, is a nigh-unlistenable ode to 70s prog. It’s strange then, that I love Moontower so much. This is 70s prog done right IMO, with its catchy songwriting, standard death vocals and all that moog! I can’t get enough. There are some moments where I’m lost in the unique tone and mood. And those clean vocals, when they do come about, I’m blown away.

There’s not a whole lot to say about this other than the fact that it rocks. I can listen to this any time, and lately, have been doing so a ton. From the opening notes to that spectacular ending, this is one of my favorite albums of the ’90s.

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The Walking Dead: Episode 3…

Posted in Best / Worst, Blog, Games, Reviews, The Walking Dead on September 3, 2012 by slateman

I simply couldn’t wait, so tonight I finished episode 3. This was the weakest episode in terms of exciting events. On the other hand, it was the single most powerful moment in gaming history.

OK, that may sound a bit dramatic, but (Spoiler-rific), when I heard the gun shot and ran into the woods…OMG. When I did what had to be done. OMFG. I don’t care that I knew it was coming. I FELT IT. That was painful.

I don’t quite know what to expect moving forward. It’s like my humanity is disappearing and if it weren’t for Clem, I’d be done. I think that’s why the TV show (comics?) have Rick’s family there. Without them, it would be so easy to lose what kept you together.

Anyways, the episode was a bit slow once you got to the train, but it was not without action and drama. I still can’t believe what just went down and I maintain its power was unmatched in gaming history. (And yes, I played Final Fantasy VII back in Sept of ’97 – 15 yrs ago this month…urgh!)

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The Walking Dead: Episode 2…

Posted in Best / Worst, Blog, Games, Reviews, The Walking Dead on September 2, 2012 by slateman

I’m having a tough time with this. Man, I love watching zombie movies. Action, suspense, RUN! It’s exciting, enticing and exotic. But rarely do these films truly touch upon the emotional portion of it all. Sure, you’ll lose a loved one. Of course difficult decisions will be made. But in The Walking Dead: The Game I find myself torn.

First off, I’m so glad this isn’t an action game, a FPS or anything of the like. The way this has been crafted is utterly perfect. It contains the exciting, enticing and exotic nature of zombie films and games before it, but only a few times in gaming history have I really cared so much for the protagonist. Few times have I felt so tied to my main character. In Metal Gear Solid 4 I remember tapping the triangle button as if my life depended on it (because for Snake, it did). John Marston’s suffering was my own in Red Dead Redemption.

I find myself having a tough time deciding when to be sympathetic and when to be stern. I want to protect Clementine but I don’t want to tiptoe to do so. I have to be strong to make the tough decisions, but I also want to try to keep peace. Things don’t work this way. The reviews I’ve read say the same…this is hard shit! I want to be loyal to Kenny…we are brothers here! But as each hour passes, these decisions become more and more difficult.

The first two episodes were free for PS+ subscribers and I didn’t even finish episode 2 before plunking down my $5 for episode 3. I must know how this pans out. Lee is the man, confident, yet reasonable. Was he a killer before? It doesn’t matter, he’s my hero now, saving those around him. This is as human a tale as I’ve ever encountered, truly only rivaled by John Marston’s. I simply cannot believe a cel-shaded point-and-click adventure based on zombies could be so deep, rewarding, intense and emotional.

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